Sydney seems to delight in its gay reputation. But surely nobody would expect to meet a dozen trannies within two hours on a Thursday night.
The city has long been a safe space in the Southern Hemisphere for the gay community. Their Mardi Gras festival is huge and rainbow flags fly proudly from apartment windows. It’s not a case of a “gay night” or “gay area,” Sydney is proud of its openness.
So take a random Thursday night, walk into central Sydney, and hit a few bars. There’s one. There’s another. There’s another three transvestites wandering past. Sydney tranny spotting makes for great banter. Here’s why…
1. Meals on Heals
Start your night with a manly steak or double decker burger, served up with a smile by this wonderfully pink hostess down at the Colombian Hotel. It’s like a cross between an American diner and a nightmare school dinner. The more masculine the meal, the more this tranny pushes up the bra and shakes his tits, and if you don’t finish the plate you get jokes about being unable to handle the meat.
2. Have a Grab Down Oxford Street
A plethora of gay friendly bars make Oxford Street the prime place to meet trannies. You don’t need to go inside to find them. Second on our list of Sydney trannies is this cheeky blonde, the pick of a whole cast that were walking around at 9pm. A few beers made the judgement a little hazy, so a quick grab was required to confirm that she was a he.
3. 60’s Cabaret from Marlene
Performing half cabaret and half TV style game show, Marlene has the punters transfixed in a shady little bar down Oxford Street. Winning lottery tickets are pulled out of the hat, the grand prize being a $20 meat tray. A whole assortment of dirty looking 60 year old blokes sit at the bar, indulging in all the skirt lifts and tit pushes.
4. Tranny Bingo
Tranny Bingo has been packing in the punters at the Sugarmills for nine years. The number calling comes from Penelope Anne as she’s added some balls to the standard pensioner game of bingo. Eyes down and check off these:
85 – A fat tranny chasing a tranny in a wheelchair
66 – Two skinny sluts with dicks
28 – A duck shagging a fat tranny
51 – A tranny in a wheelchair shagging a skinny slut
5. The Tranny Bingo Sidekick
Unable to match the bingo caller’s humor, this rather odd looking specimen clambered for attention by doing pirouettes on stage and placing the fanny of shame on anyone who incorrectly called bingo. Another favorite game here was to scrunch up your used bingo sheets and throw them at people you want to sleep with. Nobody had to pick up garbage next to this dude.
6. Outside the Backpackers
We’re not completely sure about this one. But outside a backpackers in the King’s Cross area was this giant, who was so keen to grab us that the thought of feeling down below went out of the window.
7. Seediness in King’s Cross
The King’s Cross area is a mishmash of bad strip joints, under the radar brothels, drunk teenagers puking on doormen, and bars that have no redeeming features. It’s the place you go when you’re so drunk you can’t remember your own name. Cleaning up is a gaggle of Sydney’s biggest trannies, including this football playing unit.