Stock Up On the Condoms: The Best Places to Get Laid Around the World

Some vacations are about culture. Some are about discovering new places. And some are about partying and getting laid.

Don’t pretend you’re not interested. Even if you’re shacked up without a pass-out, then these 12 destinations will be good for future reference. Nobody knows when they’ll need to pack more condoms than clothes in anticipation.

We’re not saying that the best places to get laid are always pretty. Nor are they all charming. They mostly feature thousands of young people drinking buckets, discarding underwear, and having orgies on boat parties. Some are for the guys, some are for the girls, and some are a mass free for all. And some will definitely come as surprise.

1) Oslo, Norway

Not a perfect 10 but it's much easier to get laid in Norway than Sweden.

Not a perfect 10 but it’s much easier to get laid in Norway than Sweden.

With their blond hair and blue eyes, Swedish women have a lofty reputation for being ridiculously hot. But they believe the hype, so even the ugly ones have a you-can’t-touch-this attitude. Cross over to Norway and it’s the same genes, just with none of the arrogant bullshit. Perhaps they’re not as pretty but they’re far more provocative and keen to rip the clothes off a new piece of meat. From a female traveler’s perspective, the Norwegians guys are a shy bunch, so you may need to adopt the local style of targeting a guy and telling him the score straight off the bat.

2) Buenos Aires, Argentina

Argentinians are lookers...

Argentinians are lookers…

Argentinians are among the most beautiful in the world. While neighboring Brazil is famed for its bronzed bodies, one night in Buenos Aires will quickly have you swooning in adoration. Getting laid isn’t always that easy here; the locals are promiscuous but they’ve got standards, so you’ll need some charm or looks to get the conversation started. But there’s hardly a finer experience in the world than heading home to a Buenos Aires townhouse for a night of passion. They’re fiery between the sheets and make a mean morning coffee.

The cityscape of Buenos Aires hold many treasures.

The cityscape of Buenos Aires hold many treasures.

3) Cambodia

Cambodians are keen on Western guys

Cambodians are keen on Western guys

Most Western guys have dreamy images of Thailand; half-naked chicks rubbing your crotch in bars, having a feel to check it’s not a ladyboy, and then getting it on with a 21 year old that’s far too attractive for your own scarred face. The boundary of prostitution blurs in Thailand as chicks get you drunk, screw you senseless, and then steal all your shit. Cambodia is a safer bet; the women throw themselves at you in hope of an international passport, so get in and get out. But read Jefferson Taylor’s advice first.

4) Senegal

That's not a male prostitute! It's a cow! You'll find them both on Senegal's beaches...

That’s not a male prostitute! It’s a cow! You’ll find them both on Senegal’s beaches…

Senegal was a surprise choice in Random Vacay’s look at getaways for groups of girlfriends. The men are arguably Africa’s most beautiful; tall, ripped, slender faced, and hung like elephants. Male prostitution is legal and the guys hang out on the beaches throughout the day. But you don’t need to pay for sex. All Western women are regarded in high esteem and you’ll see strange couples walking along the beaches; ugly white woman with a man way out of her league looks wise.

5) Cancun, Mexico

The beach in Cancun.

The beach in Cancun.

It’s not pretty. But an international conglomeration of drunk package tourists make annual pilgrimages to Cancun, where they discard all rules and start screwing on boat parties after half a dozen tequilas. Everyone is up for it on the Mexican strip of sunshine and debauchery, including the divorced 40 year olds asking directions to the nearest swingers club. It’s a destination for collecting flags and then comparing the genitals of three different nations.

It's a white sand beach with drunk chicks...

It’s a white sand beach with drunk chicks…

6) Prague / Budapest in Summer

How the pub crawl starts...

How the pub crawl starts…

As the inter-railers descend on Europe during summer, a series of niche party cultures are formed. Inter-railing is mostly about getting drunk, and where better to get drunk than an Eastern European city with $1 vodka shots. In most of the cities there are organized bar crawls (either arranged by bar crawl companies or hostels), where the propensity of good cheap booze leaves most foreigners in a horny stupor. They leave with each other, or leave with the broad-shouldered local (male or female). You can find it all over Eastern Europe but Prague and Budapest are best because they’re on practically every Eurorail itinerary.

How it should end...

How it should end…

7) Australia’s East Coast

The Australian travel dream is personified by the country’s East Coast. Hire a vehicle, buy a few five liter boxes of goon (the slang for local wine), and spend a month or two getting wasted in hostels all the way down the coast. Every night is a party and it’s a fully international crowd, from tanned local Aussies to raunchy Germans and mischievous Irish. Most people traveling the East Coast are on their first big trip away from home, so stretching personal boundaries is part of the norm.

A hostel on Australia's East Coast.

A hostel on Australia’s East Coast.

And a beach on Australia's East Coast.

And a beach on Australia’s East Coast.

8) Newcastle, or a Random Northern English town

It’s definitely not pretty. In fact, it’s downright ugly. Northern English towns are where you find the stereotypes of overweight locals dressed in skimpy clothes vomiting on the street…and then going home with the first person who holds out a hand. There are many words that could be used: slags, sluts, scarlets, strumpets. But don’t hold it against an individual. There’s an overarching atmosphere in places like Newcastle, one that demands you’re drunk by midday, naked by 3pm, and not changing the sheets before the next stranger gets into your bed.

Not quite perfect tens...

Not quite perfect tens…

9) Miami, USA

A pool party at Miami's Winter Music Conference.

A pool party at Miami’s Winter Music Conference.

An expected choice on a list of places to get laid, Miami promises a lot and usually delivers. If you haven’t been, you’re probably thinking silicon breasts, endless beach parties, and bodies that spend far too many hours in the gym. You need to look good, because Miami doesn’t really do ugly people. But shave the chest, tuck in the stomach, and the champagne cocktails should do the rest. For guys and girls, Miami is a place for taking your best friends and waking up with strangers.

Miami boat party.

Miami boat party.

10) Majorca / Ibiza, Spain

Drunkenness in Magaluf

Drunkenness in Magaluf

Half of degenerate Europe decamps to these two Spanish islands every summer, looking for the standard combination of sun, sex, and sangria laced with narcotics. On Majorca you’ll find the ugly resort town of Magaluf, commonly referred to as Shagaluf, where hands grope up skirts during famed foam parties. Ibiza has more an eclectic audience and the nonstop partying often ends in a sex on the beach. Unfortunately, it will only be sex in a hotel by finding a way to sneak your new partner past security.

The main Magaluf strip

The main Magaluf strip

11) Rome, Italy

A charming setting...

A charming setting…

Italian guys aren’t shy about coming forward, and while the constant attention can be off-putting, there’s no denying that Italian men have the suave looks and clever charm. Plus, getting wined and dined in the beautiful streets of Rome features highly on many first time Europe female bucketlists. There’s an old-world atmosphere to Rome and a local vacation romance is the best way to see it; cute cafes, hidden ruins, trips on scooters to the best ice cream parlors. Come alone and leave alone, but there’s almost certain to be something memorable in between.

And many guys to choose from...

And many guys to choose from…

12) Tokyo, Japan

The thing with Japanese women is that they’re smoking hot and have zero self-confidence. And if that’s not an invitation then what is? They’re eager to meet pasty faced Westerners and the language barrier means you don’t even need to have good conversation. Just buy a couple of drinks, smile, and flirt excessively. While the Japanese culture is one of caution, as soon as nobody is looking, the Japanese women are quick to jump in a taxi straight to your hotel. And unlike many places in Asia, there’s no worrying about them being prostitutes or ladyboys.

Dressed up Harajuku girls in Tokyo

Dressed up Harajuku girls in Tokyo