So you hired the limo, got wasted in the strip club, woke up naked, and realized that your bachelor party wasn’t that special. Sure, there are a few Hangover style moments to be relived on camera, but having Mike Tyson and a tiger at your bachelor is so 2012…
The greatest bachelor party destinations take you out of the comfort zone and offer something more memorable. Inclusion on the list requires originality, bizarre debauchery, an excessive party scene, and the sort of randomness that makes Frank the Tank seem tame. Of course, there’s also plenty of booze, women, drugs, and nakedness.
Please treat this list with caution. If you’re looking for 26 beers, three fist fights, and an eyeful of beaver then stick to your hometown. The greatest bachelor party destinations are for those looking for a new twist on a classic theme…
Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Fly down to Mexico and Playa del Carmen is becoming the new choice for all day beach sessions and rooftop techno parties. The town retains some Mexican flavor, so you’re equally likely to be downing tequila in a dive bar as ripping off bikinis in an opulent hotel suite. An eclectic mix of nationalities bring intrigue to the atmosphere and it’s as popular with bachelorettes as bachelors. Just remember to create a shared kitty of around $500; the local cocaine is easy to find but getting caught means a hefty bribe.
Eastern European cities are all the rage for bachelor parties. It started with Prague and has extended gradually eastwards as budget airlines have opened up the region. Budapest, Riga, Vilnius, Krakow…the beer is ridiculously cheap, the prostitutes give change from $20, and the charm of a city is decapitated by drunken bachelor parties. Unfortunately, there are more bachelor parties than strippers, so head further east to the Transylvanian town of Cluj. Nobody can speak English but who cares when the women from the local convent get you hard with one glance. It’s a town where you can act with complete abandon and somehow, just somehow, still be received favorably by the locals.
Thailand is no longer a romantic destination. It’s a cosmopolitan melting pot of revelers looking for sex, drugs, and sunburn. There’s thousands of titty bars but that’s not where to party. Head to the beach bars and you’ll find endless gaggles of Scandinavian beauties getting wasted on buckets of cheap booze and amphetamine. With so many bikinis covering the beach it’s merely a numbers game; just remember to pack the rubbers and pick up a dose of the local Viagra…
Obscene alcohol prices and a serious clampdown on narcotics make Australia a bad choice for bachelors. That’s unless you visit Nimbin, a weird dusty farming town where women in witch outfits sell space cakes on the streets. Debauched foreigners smoke bongs in the marijuana museum, there’s more dealers than houses, and absolutely anything goes. In fact, the more obscene your actions the more you blend into the Nimbin landscape. For example, if you get tied naked to a lamppost in Nimbin, there’s a good chance that a toothless granny will come past and suck you off. Think Breaking Bad meets Mad Max in the Australian desert.
Las Vegas, USA
It’s hardly original but Vegas was always going to make this list. Nowhere else can provide such a cocktail of excess, lavish fantasy, and inherent addiction. Driving down the Strip with the top down is almost the antithesis of walking down the aisle. There’s possibility and freedom everywhere, from shouting obscenities at silicon implanted Russians to snorting a line off the gearstick. If it can happen anywhere then it can happen in Vegas; after all, this is a city unashamedly created by gangsters.
Seoul, South Korea
The great thing about going abroad for your bachelor is choice. Instead of a few tired local options, you’re catapulted into a destination with a seemingly endless variety of clubs and drinks offers. Seoul’s high rise central neighborhoods have more bars per square meter than anywhere else in the world, so when you get kicked out of one you land on the doorstep of another. Furthermore, the local spirit, soju, is cheaper than bottled water, and the obsequious Koreans will react with timid humor to your drunken antics.
Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Another classic…but it’s impossible to ignore a city where weed and prostitution is legal. On most nights, everyone in the bachelor group will claim tiredness and stagger off. Then they’ll sneak into the red door of a local whore and claim they got “lost” trying to find the hotel. The central canals are filled with eye candy, but most bachelors spend their last night of freedom in a back alley, enjoying the pleasures of one of Amsterdam’s hideously overweight grannies.
The American Road Trip to Anywhere
Fill the trunk with beer, hide your drugs behind the hub caps, and hit the road. It doesn’t matter where you’re going, just keep hitting it hard and keep crossing the state boundaries to avoid the cops. It doesn’t matter when you get run out of town…regroup in the desert and then carry on to the next weird hole in the heart of nowhere. For an intimate bachelor party with a few close buddies, the American road trip delivers continual surprise.
For an intriguing twist on the beach / party combo try Goa. What it lacks in strip joints it makes up for in all-night revelry and weird concoctions of locals and foreigners partying together. You could be drinking bad whiskey at a jungle psy trance rave, popping acid tabs on a beach covered in cows, losing four hours in an incense engulfed temple, and waking up in luminous spray paint. Or you could be eating egg omelets at 5am with a German chick in an afro. Goa epitomizes the randomness you demand from a bachelor party.
Newcastle is England’s favorite bachelor party destination. The women wear tiny skirts in mid-winter, you can get four pints and a stripper before midday, and vomit covers the streets by 4pm. Many people have predicted a glorious day when a HIV vaccination is invented, and random people start having sex in the street. Well, that’s Newcastle every Saturday night. Morals and standards get sucked into a void and just about everything goes…
You want to party right? So why not get wasted at the world’s largest street party in Salvador? Or get lost in the madness of Rio’s week of carnival degeneracy? Vibrant colors mix with insatiable enthusiasm and a samba beat keeps the party going until next Tuesday. Brazil’s carnivals have many sides. One night you’re smoking cigars in a plush nightclub, surrounded by hotties. The next night you’re snorting powder in a favela, surrounded by guns.
St Petersburg, Russia
Mid-summer brings 24 hour daylight and nonstop street parties to St Petersburg. And you’re going to need these 24 hours to pack in the diversity of this enchanting Russian city. Drink vodka by charming monuments, lose the plot in lavish nightclubs, start drinking when you arrive and don’t stop until the sun goes down… Then the best part about St Petersburg? The women are smoking hot but the weather is freezing for most of the year. So when summer comes around they’re in their bikinis at all hours and in all places.
Manilla, The Philippines
Women look away now. For absolute debauchery with gangs of cheap women, the Filipino capital is a sure fire bet for the undecided bachelor. You know, the bachelor who wants a final night of freedom that has no boundaries; and a night of memories that can still give him an erection at the diamond wedding anniversary. Hit a nightclub in Manilla and your foreign group will be surrounded by immediate attention. Take a seat and have bets on what comes first; the bucket of vodka red bull or two chicks stroking your groin. Most bachelor parties in Manilla descend into mass orgies. Everyone picks a handful of chicks, somebody leaves their credit card, and what goes on tour stays on tour…